Yesterday, I did some rich people shit. I went to the dentist! I’m not at all exaggerating when I say I had not had my teeth cleaned in more than 20 years. (although you’re holding it in, I still can feel your judgement) Let’s talk this out for a moment… dental work, even routine cleanings, are expensive. It’s easily something that can be put on the back burner until you have time or “get around to it”, and if you don’t have insurance, it’s absolutely NOT a priority, especially if you aren’t having any issues with your teeth.

Dental hygiene is not something that was really prioritized or emphasized to me growing up. Yes, I was taught to brush my teeth, in the morning before school. I don’t ever remember a single time being told to brush my teeth before bed. Back in the day, we used to have an oral hygiene unit that was part of health class. We all ate those disgusting pink tablets that showed the plaque on our teeth, and in some of my elementary school classrooms, we had little hooks next to the sink, where sometimes there were toothbrushes with our names written on a piece of masking tape, which inevitably fell off within a few days. Eventually, the toothbrushes went away, and we went back to learning how to write in cursive or studying Aesop’s fables, or watching the Challenger explode. My little hometown had one dentist that all the kids went to, with a treasure chest full of prizes and a hygienist named Star. But not long after my sister and I became patients there, the dentist went to rehab for cocaine addiction and ended up losing his license. I don’t really remember going to a different dentist after that, until my parents took me to the “adult” dentist in town, who had a weird practice that was a split-level house – dental practice upstairs, and I’m not sure what was downstairs, but the place always smelled like food. That was my spot, until my oldest daughter was about 5, and that was the last time I had my teeth cleaned. 2005.

Ugh. That sounds horrible! I guess it is. From 2005-2012, I honestly have no excuse at all for not going, and I fear that during those years I passed this indifference and irresponsible attitude onto my children. Yes, I taught them to brush, twice a day. They used that bubble gum flavored fluoride rinse. But, dental health was not a priority in our house. In fact, we were kicked out of not one, but two youth dental practices for non-payment. Both of my kids needed braces though, and that process is very intense, both for the bracee and the parents, who are held accountable to a VERY strict schedule of appointments and payments. The orthodontist may have been able to redeem my shortcomings as a parent. For myself, by 2013, I was divorced, poor as dirt, had no insurance and taking care of my teeth was honestly the last thing on my TO DO list. It came right after mending my relationship with my girls, changing careers so I could afford to live independently, finding an affordable place to live within the school district, getting out from under my unhealthy transition situationship, playing punching bag to my ex-husband on the phone for 2-3 hours per day, and going to therapy so I could somehow stay alive.

But yesterday, was spa day! I had a 2-hour appointment, and I got to lay down in a comfortable chair, put on a pair of sunglasses and let someone else scrape off 20 years of regret, self-loathing, guilt, shame and red wine stains. Don’t misunderstand, I felt horrible for the poor girl, I wanted to tip her when it was all done, but I thought that would not be appropriate. I felt GOOD when I was done. My mouth was sore, and the back of my bottom teeth were now whittled back into their individual forms, instead of a Kanye style grill. I had 2 fillings replaced, and go back later this month for a third, and will continue to have cleanings every 3 months until some of the damage I’ve done is repaired. Y’all, I did some RICH people shit! This feels like growth on so many levels. If you’ve been poor, you might understand. Maybe you’ve done the same thing, or maybe your “thing” is something totally different. Please hear me, it’s never too late to grow and make some changes. If you do, let me know, because I want to celebrate your growth and accomplishment with you. Do the thing. You won’t regret it.